“Lovers.. oh, that word bums me out unless it’s between meat and pizza.”

— Liz Lemon

Pizza is one of life's greatest pleasures. Call it dramatic, but I believe that it's true. Another one, following Chrissy Teigen on social media. She is hilarious, honest, vulgar, sarcastic, insightful and seems like a person everyone wants to be friends with.

Her first cookbook, Cravings, has many of those same great qualities as Teigen herself. It’s approachable, realistic and full of indulgent ideas. Some, reminiscent of things I might want to enjoy after too many cocktails - like the Stretchy Artichoke, Spinach, and Buffalo Chicken Dip, or the French Toast Casserole with Salted Frosted Flakes. There is a whole chapter of simple and easy Thai recipes from her equally hilarious mom, @pepperthai2, a chapter called "Salads (For When You Need Them)" and “Things That Intimidate People But Shouldn’t”.

I read this book cover to cover as soon as I got it. Every foreword of each recipe is hilarious and Chrissy’s personality really shines through. So before I go any further, here are the two takeaways from this post.

Follow @ChrissyTeigen on all the places.
Buy this book and make all the stuff.

Okay, back to pizza. I think it goes without saying how universally loved pizza is. But what may not be as universally-loved is Hawaiian Pizza. Maybe people think pineapple and cheese together is a weird combination. Maybe people can’t step away from the classics. Maybe people think Spam is on it…?

I don’t know why people don’t like Hawaiian Pizza, but I am NOT one of those people. I LOVE Hawaiian Pizza. I love the sweetness from the pineapple, the saltiness from the ham, the creaminess from the cheese, and if I get the choice, spicy jalapeños bring it all together.

So when I flipped to Hawaiian Pizza Jalapeño Poppers in Cravings, it confirmed that Chrissy and I are soul sisters, and that I would be making these for myself. And eating all of them.

I think this recipe is pretty perfect as is, but I couldn’t resist the opportunity to use one of my most favorite pork ingredients, Landrauchschinken. Yes. Land-rauch-schin-ken. It is a Swiss Country Smoked Ham from Olympia Provisions and it is amazing. It’s like bacon but in thin-sliced deli meat form. It makes sandwiches delicious, it is awesome on a charcuterie board, and takes Hawaiian Pizza to the next level. I still use regular deli ham to add into the popper mixture, but I chose to wrap my poppers with the Landrauchschinken instead.

If you read lots of recipes that involve chopping or seeding spicy peppers, many of them suggest wearing gloves. Every single time I read that, I brush it off. I’m a tough person. I love spicy foods. I can handle it. Every single time I prep spicy peppers, I don’t wear gloves. And EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I. REGRET. IT. Even with washing my hands right away. Even with taking care to not touch the ribs and seeds. My fingers will burn at no end for hours and hours and hours after I’m done. I even own a box of gloves. I have no reason other than pride to not wear gloves, and until I finally learn my lesson, my fingers will continue to burn and burn and burn. So don’t be stubborn like me and wear gloves. Your fingers - and everything you might touch afterwards - will thank you.

Hawaiian Pizza Jalapeño Poppers

Makes 16 poppers

8 medium jalapeño peppers
20 pieces thinly sliced deli ham
8 slices of Landrauchschinken (optional)
4 ounces room temperature cream cheese
¾ cup shredded mozzarella cheese
2 scallions - chopped
⅓ cup chopped cooked bacon - about 6 slices
¼ cup chopped fresh pineapple - plus 8 cubes
1 large garlic clove - minced or grated on a rasp
Salt and pepper
8 cherry tomatoes
16 long toothpicks or wooden skewers

Preheat oven to 425℉ and line a rimmed baking sheet with foil.

Halve each jalapeño lengthwise, discarding the seeds and ribs. **WEARING GLOVES DOES NOT MAKE YOU ANY OF A PERSON. Burning fingers are no fun.

Set aside enough slices of deli ham or Landrauchschinken to wrap 16 poppers. Chop the remaining slices of deli ham. In a bowl, mix together the ham, cream cheese, mozzarella, scallions, bacon, pineapple, garlic, salt and pepper.

Fill each jalapeño half with a scoop of the filling and wrap the pepper with a piece of ham. Skewer a toothpick with a tomato or pineapple cube, then skewer the pepper. You’ll have eight of each, then place each one of the baking sheet.

Bake until the cheese is bubbling and the jalapeños have soften a bit, about 20 minutes. Enjoy hot, or like a good Hawaiian pizza - cold, straight out of the fridge.